


must be love on the brain

by prouveyrac



Category: Yuri!!! on ICE, Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime), yoi - Fandom, yuri on ice
Genre: Anime, M/M, Romance, Yoi - Freeform, Yuri on Ice - Freeform, eyes take a bigger role than expected, thank u rihanna for the title, yoi from viktor's pov basically, yuri!!! on ice - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 17:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8901658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouveyrac/pseuds/prouveyrac
Summary: In Viktor Nikiforov’s entire skating career, he has faced injuries, wins, losses, intrusive press questions, obsessive fangirls, obsessive fanboys.But never had he faced something like Yuri Katsuki.Why did seeing Yuri Katsuki beg him to be his coach, gripping onto his waist with a tie around his forehead, make him feel something bloom in his gut and warmth rush to his face? Why did it leave him with a giddy smile after the fact?Why is Yuri Katsuki his favorite memory from his entire Grand Prix Final?A study in Viktor Nikiforov gaining his "L words" from a certain Japanese figure skater.(disclaimer: written before episode 12)





	

In Viktor Nikiforov’s entire skating career, he has faced injuries, wins, losses, intrusive press questions, obsessive fangirls, obsessive fanboys.

But never had he faced something like Yuri Katsuki. Yuri Katsuki, who placed last in the Grand Prix Final. Yuri Katsuki, who didn’t even speak a word to him at the rink. Yuri Katsuki, who seemed to want nothing more than to get away from him.

Yuri Katsuki, who couldn’t let Viktor go at the banquet.

Not that Viktor was complaining, no he was not complaining _at all_. Seeing Yuri up close with a red flush and brown eyes that sparkled was a much better sight than seeing Yuri’s back as he walked away from him.

Viktor didn’t even think it was possible for eyes to even sparkle. People told him that his did, that they sparkled like the ocean or the sky or various stones which to Viktor were all just blue. And when he looked at himself in the mirror, that’s all that he saw too: just blue. No sparkle, no twinkle, no uplift with a smile.

Just blue.

And he used to think that eyes would just be that. Just brown. Just green. Just grey. He believed it to be a thing of poets to create sonnets for eyes, that no actual person looked at someone and saw their eyes glittering with happiness or darkening with sadness.

But then Yuri Katsuki, brown eyed Yuri Katsuki, _danced_ with him and _begged_ him to be his coach after winning a dance off with Yuri Plisetsky (of all people) and, dammit, his eyes weren’t just _brown_.

They were citrine, they were amber, they were every brown gemstone Viktor had ever seen and more. They were bright and they reminded Viktor of the sun. He realized what it meant to see happiness in someone’s eyes. Realized what it was like to have someone stare at you like you’re the world, and realized what it was like to only see one person in a crowded room.

He groaned, dramatically draping his arm across his eyes. The banquet had only just ended and he could still feel the alcohol in his system, could still hear the banquet music ringing in his ears, could still see Yuri Katsuki and only Yuri Katsuki.

But why did Katsuki even look at him like that? Why leave him at the rink without a word and then not leave him for most of the banquet? Was it his skate? Did Viktor say something to offend him? Did he look weird?

Viktor groaned even louder,and rolled onto his stomach, smushing his face into a pillow. He felt like an obsessive fanboy. With everything that happened -press conferences and winning the Grand Prix Final for the fifth time, though he doesn’t know if he sees that as a big deal anymore- and all he could think about was this citrine eyed Japanese figure skater who is playing the weirdest game of hard to get ever and whether he was actually fond of Viktor or was just toying with him. He didn’t think of Yuri Katsuki after he left him at the rink, why did the banquet change everything?

Why did seeing Yuri Katsuki beg him to be his coach, gripping onto his waist with a tie around his forehead, make him feel something bloom in his gut and warmth rush to his face? Why did it leave him with a giddy smile after the fact?

Why is Yuri Katsuki his favorite memory from his entire Grand Prix Final? He’s twenty-seven, and possibly preparing to retire. On the chance that he is, shouldn’t he be cherishing this time? Cherishing being able to skate against his friend Chris? Cherishing winning a fifth consecutive gold medal?

But he went through the entire progress like it was just one giant routine that he’s been rehearsing, and instead was cherishing Yuri Katsuki.

_Yuri Katsuki._

Even at just thinking the name, Viktor felt a smile creep onto his face.

_Dammit._

Out of curiosity, he propped himself up on his elbows and then reached to turn on the bedside lamp. Unlocking his phone, he opened up his camera and stared at himself. To be specific, he stared at his eyes.

Blue.

Just blue.

He sighed and flicked off the light before tossing his phone on the other side of the bed (and wincing when he heard it fall).

Maybe Yuri Katsuki was just special.

 

 

Yuri Katuski could have just called. He could have just called him after the Grand Prix Final. It would have been much simpler, and Viktor would have been _delighted_ to take that call.

Yes, it would have been much simpler to call after the Final instead of having no contact with Viktor until March, and that contact being posting a video of him skating Viktor’s own routine for _Stay Close To Me_.

To tell the truth, Viktor doesn’t know which one he would have preferred over the other. On one hand, calling Viktor would have been literally easier instead of learning an entire routine. It would have been quick and Viktor would have been glad to meet Yuri wherever he was and finally be able to get to know this man he danced with at the banquet.

On the other hand, Viktor felt… _moved_ by this performance. The video had no sound, but he could _feel_ the music Yuri was making. Yuri was taking this performance and making it almost his. He was copying Viktor and yet it was somehow so Yuri’s.

Yuri got his attention in a way that couldn’t be ignored.

Once again, Yuri Katsuki was surprising Viktor Nikiforov. In the times that he saw the other man, he never ceased to surprise him.

Now Viktor just had to decide what would come first: telling Yakov he was going to Japan or buying a plane ticket.

 

 

Yuri Katsuki was different. He wasn’t the outgoing, extroverted man he met at the banquet, but he wasn’t the one who avoided him at the rink, either.

Instead, Yuri Katsuki was shy and kind. He liked Makkachin, and seemed to remind him and his family of a past dog called Vicchan. He was timid but didn’t back away from Viktor prepositioning that he’d be his coach. He seemed willing to work for this year’s Grand Prix Final, which was great because Viktor wanted to be the one to get him there.

However, one thing that did throw Viktor off was that, at the end of the day, Yuri was extremely flustered around him, was very quick to blush and scramble away from him. And not even in a way that showed that he was bothered by Viktor, more in a way that showed that he was just… taken back by Viktor being there. As if he didn’t tell Viktor in person to come to the Katsuki family’s hot springs.

Even though Viktor was thrown off, this usually didn’t bother him completely. Maybe alcohol just made Yuri loosen up a bit and gain more confidence; Viktor wasn’t going to blame him for that. Yuri did prove to be shy, and Viktor wasn’t going to get mad at him for his personality.

There was one night where that did hit him hard, however.

In retrospect, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Viktor had suggested that they share a bed for the night, and Yuri responded by not letting him into his bedroom, and it wasn’t like Viktor was going to invade his space after he was denied. But as he went back to his guest room with Makkachin at his heels, Viktor couldn’t stop thoughts from running through his head.

 _Does Yuri really not like me?_ His hands shook as he prepared his bed. _Why is he so squeamish around me? Does he want me to leave? Was this a mistake? Why did he dance with me at the banquet and ignore me now? Why did he never try to contact me until now?_

_Was he just toying with me, playing with my feelings because he could?_

That thought stopped Viktor completely. His body fell still for a couple moments. Eventually, he sunk onto his bed and the tremor continued in his hands.

_What if it was all a joke and now Yuri wants me to leave?_

To Viktor’s own shock, tears brimmed his eyes. He couldn’t stop them from falling down his cheeks and dripping onto his shirt. He pressed one hand over his mouth, partly in surprise and partly to cover any ragged breathing, while the other went to quickly rub the tears away.

This wasn’t something to cry about, shouldn’t be something to cry about. Yuri Katsuki, with his pretty brown eyes and his cute smile and how his face always had a slight blush to it, shouldn’t be something Viktor cried about. And yet, the tears didn’t stop. He had a burning feeling in his gut and he just wanted to get closer to Yuri and he didn’t know what he was doing _wrong_.

Makkachin jumped on the bed next to him, seeming to sense his distress. Viktor pressed his hands to his eyes, trying to stop the tears and calm himself down. Deep down, he knew that Yuri liked him. If he wanted him to leave, he would have said so. And Yuri and Viktor got along, and Viktor has had fun here in Japan, and he hoped that his company was fun for Yuri, too.

But it was all just so hard to believe because Viktor was extremely tired and upset, and he wanted to spend the night with Yuri and get to know him better, and he wanted to talk more about the banquet.

He wanted to see Yuri smile, because he had a lovely one. He wanted to hear him talk and just learn everything about him.

Most of all, he wanted to see his eyes and to know if they still sparkle at night.

He wondered if somewhere in Yuri, he wanted the same things too. Maybe Yuri thinks Viktor’s eyes sparkle too, or maybe he thinks about what he wants to know about him.

Viktor really doesn’t think that Yuri wants him to leave, but he’s tired and that’s making him emotional.

Viktor’s breathing hitched and it took him a couple moments until he could properly take a deep breath. He rolled onto his side and hugged Makkachin close to him.

Tomorrow was a new day, and he wasn’t going to be upset, and him and Yuri were going to do things together, and everything will be fine.

 

 

Skaters’ hearts are as fragile as glass. It’s quite simple to crack one. All it takes are just words.

_“If you mess up this free skate and miss the podium, I’ll take responsibility by resigning as your coach.”_

And Viktor, well, Viktor shattered Yuri’s.

_“But this time, I’m anxious because my mistakes would reflect on you, too!”_

_“Just have more faith than I do that I’ll win!”_

_“Just stand by me!”_

Viktor’s heart had dropped into his stomach when he saw Yuri’s eyes cloud with tears. He shook and trembled and Viktor was at a loss. He was the one who caused Yuri to break down like that, after all his pent up anxieties kept weighing on him, and he had no clue how to fix it.

But on the ice, Yuri smiled.

After all that, Yuri was able to smile.

_Why is he smiling?_

Viktor was pleasantly surprised when Yuri landed his first quad; He was scared that he had messed with Yuri’s mind too much. But Yuri did seem… calm. Composed.

He landed his quadruple Salchow. “Perfect, Yuri!” He threw his arms up, a grin coming to his face as his cheeks flushed.

Yuri’s last quad, a quadruple toe loop, was soon. Despite touching down on one of his jumps, he had the audience enthralled. His music played in the background and, once again, Yuri not only made it his own but he was able to make it with his movements. If Yuri skated to a completely silent routine, Viktor would still be able to hear the music perfectly.

Viktor had confidence in Yuri for the quadruple toe loop. He had great stamina, and even after not sleeping he looked strong. He knew that he would time it correctly and-

Yuri leaped off the ice.

_Wait._

_That wasn’t a toe loop._

_That was…_

“It’s a quadruple flip!” the announcer boomed, mimicking the shock that everyone in the rink, Viktor included, felt.

Viktor gasped, his jaw hanging open.

“He fell, but there appeared to be enough rotations! The quadruple flip was a signature move of Viktor Nikiforov, his coach. Not even Nikiforov ever did a jump this difficult at the end of a program, when fatigue would be at its peak!”

Yuri Katsuki…

Yuri Katsuki never failed to surprise Viktor. The entire rink was cheering but Viktor could only focus on Yuri. He couldn’t hear anyone else, couldn’t see any other human. Warmth spread from his gut and through his veins and he threw his hands over his face, feeling every emotion he ever felt towards Yuri Katsuki overwhelm him at once.

Before Viktor could even think, he was running to the gate.

Yuri had always surprised him, now it was his turn.

Viktor sprinted to the opening, looking at the ice to see Yuri skating at him with a grin on his face and flushed cheeks. “Viktor!” he exclaimed, looking the happiest he had ever seen him. “I did great, right?”

Viktor smiled, nodded, and stepped out onto the ice.

The entire rink fell silent when Viktor pressed his lips to Yuri’s. They were soft and Yuri was warm and they clung to each other and Viktor never wanted this moment to end. He never wanted to forget Yuri’s face as he leaned in or the way surprise took over the rink.

He cradled Yuri’s head as they fell to the ice, the air being knocked out of both of them. Viktor pulled away from Yuri, his cheeks red and brown eyes only focused on him and Viktor swears it’s the prettiest he’s ever seen Yuri. “This was the only thing I could think of to surprise you more than you’ve surprised me.”

“It worked,” Yuri smiled.

Viktor laughed and pressed his forehead to Yuri’s.

 

 

A part of Viktor was glad to be back in Russia. Though it was Moscow and not St. Petersburg, he was familiar with the area, and he knew his old rink mates were here. And since Yuri was able to show Viktor Hasetsu and was so hospitable, Viktor wanted to do the same for him.

Yuri was already in their hotel room, Viktor had sent him ahead when he was bombarded with Russian reporters. They asked the usual questions, but one that stuck out to Viktor in particular was if he would rather face Yuri in a competition than coaching him. Viktor didn’t end up answering it because, fortunate for him, Yurio had been there and Viktor directed the reporters towards him.

But if Viktor was to answer, how would he tell the reporters that he was happier just being with Yuri than he was skating? They would have twisted it to make it seem like Yuri forced him to quit skating, or that Viktor never liked skating in the first place, and poor Yakov would have had a heart attack.

But still, it was true. Happiness was reintroduced into his life when he met Yuri. He felt something that skating hasn’t made him feel in a while.

As he opened their hotel room door, he found Yuri sprawled out on the bed. His phone was in his hand but it was obvious that Yuri was asleep. With grace, he made his way across the room, not wanting to disturb the sleeping beauty. The room had a chill to it and he moved the blankets so that they covered him. Yuri’s face was turned to the side, his glasses crooked on his face. Carefully, he removed his glasses so they wouldn’t get crushed and put them on the side table.

When he turned around, he heard Yuri’s soft voice saying, “Viktor?”

“Hey Yuri,” he said with a smile as he took off his coat and draped it over the nearby chair. “Go back to sleep, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Yuri said with a yawn. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” He propped himself up on his elbows and blinked his bleary eyes, scouring the room until he saw his glasses and put them back on his face. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Viktor shrugged and sat on the bed. “They just had some questions for me.”

Yuri hummed in acknowledgement and rested his head back down on his arms. Viktor, taking that as a sign that he wanted to go back to sleep, stood but was stopped when he felt Yuri’s hand gripping his wrist.

“Where are you going?” He asked, tilting his head back up.

“I thought you wanted to go back to sleep.”

“Well, stay with me?” Yuri looked at him with pleading eyes.

Viktor’s heart leaped to his throat because _he’s so adorable_. He couldn’t manage words, and instead nodded and smiled. Lying next to him, he wrapped his arm around Yuri and pulled him. Yuri rested his head against his chest and draped his arm over his torso.

They laid together in silence, content with just each other’s company. Viktor tugged the blanket over them.

Viktor could feel Yuri’s eyes focused on him despite having his own eyes on the ceiling and, to his own surprise, he blushed knowing that Yuri was thinking _something_ while staring at him.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Viktor murmured, smiling. “What is it?”

“O-Oh, uh,” Yuri stammered and Viktor just knew he was blushing. “I was just thinking… you have, uh, really nice eyes.”

Viktor faltered and stared down at Yuri. Yuri, with his brown eyes that sparkled and held every emotion he felt, thought _he_ had nice eyes?

“They’re just blue,” Viktor said without thinking.

At that, he instantly wanted to smack himself in the face. He could have said “thank you” or “really?” but instead he had to say “they’re just blue”.

He slightly panicked at the deterred look on Yuri’s face and backtracked, “No, that isn’t-” he sighed. “I didn’t mean to say that. It’s just… people have told me that before and I never really… saw it? They’re just blue.”

“They’re more than that,” Yuri said softly. “They’re like the ocean, I think. They shine and they darken.” He paused. “They’re pretty.”

_Like the ocean._

_Pretty._

Words people have called him before. They never stuck with him when fans or reporters said it. But Yuri? Yuri made him feel different. Yuri was genuine. Yuri was able to see what Viktor wasn’t, and he meant it. He didn’t just say them to get some sort of reaction, he didn’t say it to get Viktor to think better of him. He just said it, and he meant it.

Viktor found himself at a loss for words for a moment.

Yuri frowned. “Did I… say something wrong?”

Viktor shook his head quickly. “No! No, you didn’t. Just… you meant that.”

“Of course I did.”

Viktor smiled. “Thank you.”

Silence fell back over the pair. Yuri began gently tracing circles on Viktor’s chest and now Viktor was the one to stare. He felt warmth in his gut and a pang in his heart and what that feeling was called laid on the tip of his tongue and ran in his mind.

He wanted to stay like this forever.

“Yuri,” Viktor said again.

“Yes, Viktor?”

“Why did you not let me stay with you that one night in Hasetsu?”

Now, Viktor expected a couple things. He expected for Yuri to get flustered. To tell him that he just didn’t want to. To tell him that they weren’t close enough yet. However, he did not expect Yuri to groan and smush his face into Victor’s chest, ignoring the fact that his glasses were also getting smushed, saying, “You’re going to laugh at me.”

“I’m sure I won’t,” Viktor grinned.

Yuri looked back up at him. “You really want to know?”

Viktor nodded, his grin growing.

Yuri sighed and rested his head back down. “I had… posters of you everywhere in my room.”

Both were silent for a couple moments.

“Yuri…”

“Viktor-”

“That’s so adorable!” Viktor exclaimed, beaming. “So you saw me everyday?”

Yuri groaned again and rolled off him. “Don’t mock me!”

“I’m not!” Viktor sat up. “I could have signed them for you!”

“ _Viktor!_ ”

Viktor laughed, throwing his head back. “Okay, maybe I was teasing with that one. But now I have to hang photos of you! It will be adorable, to see you everywhere and-”

Viktor’s mind completely blanked when Yuri sat up and kissed him. He felt his entire face heat up and Yuri smiled against his lips. To escalate from heating up to feeling like he was on fire, Yuri’s hands then went to his hair and kept Viktor close. When Yuri pulled away, he said, “Thought that would get you to stop talking.”

Viktor opened and closed his mouth a few times before he was finally able to say in a very quiet voice, “That was very eros of you.”

 

 

The gold ring felt like it was right where it belonged. It fit perfectly on his right ring finger, and Viktor couldn’t help but smile down at it.

This was actually happening. Him and Yuri were engaged to each other and were going to be _married_ to each other soon. Everything had worked out _right_ and they had gotten to Barcelona _together_ and Viktor…

Viktor loved Yuri.

That’s what it was all along. Love. Love and life. It was the two forces that had been missing from Viktor’s life for over twenty years. The two things that he always longed for but could never put a name to.

And then Yuri Katsuki came to him and made him realize what he was missing.

And, dammit, he loved Yuri. He loved him when they laughed together and when they bickered. He loved him when he skated perfectly and when things didn’t go his way. He loved him from the moment he saw him at that banquet and loved him now, upon finding out that he doesn’t even _remember_ the banquet because he was _that drunk._

Oh, right, which leads to…

 

“He doesn’t even remember!” Viktor all but wailed as he threw his hands over his face. He was lying back on one of the chairs by the hotel pool, and Christophe was in the pool with his arms resting on the side. An open bottle of whatever wine Chris brought was open, except Viktor was the one who was drinking most of it. “I fell in love with him at that banquet and he doesn’t remember it!”

“But, hey, in the end-” Chris started but Viktor interrupted him.

“And all that time after the banquet I was stuck thinking about him and thinking he stood me up!” Viktor shot up and accidentally hit the side table, almost knocking over everything in the process. “And then he posted that video and I thought it was him finally calling me to him!”

“But Viktor-”

“No wonder he acted so strange when I got to Japan!” Viktor exclaimed, running his hands through his hair. “He thought that I just showed up because of the video and the video only! And-” Viktor gasped, covering his face again. “I showed up at the hot springs and met him _naked._ ”

“Well, at least you two now both have fun first-meeting stories.”

Viktor looked through slits in his fingers at Chris, who was grinning. “Don’t patronize me, Giacometti.”

“No I’m serious! He met you while you were naked, you met him while he was dry-humping your leg! It evens out!”

“ _Chris_ ,” Viktor whined and moved his hands so that he could pour himself another glass.

“It’s true!” Chris laughed. “We all saw it happen!”

“You’re the worst.”

“First off,” Chris said, ignoring his comment, as he pushed himself out of the pool. He took the now full glass from Viktor. “I brought this wine down so that we can have celebratory drinks to your engagement, not for you to drink all of it, Nikiforov.” He then pulled a towel around him; The air was cold so no doubt he was freezing. “Second off, you shouldn’t even be drinking yourself blind because you have to be a good coach for Yuri.”

“You’re drinking and you have to skate tomorrow.”

“Yes but this is my wine.” Viktor huffed and rolled his eyes but there was a smile on his face. “And third off, everything worked out in the end, didn’t it? You still met Yuri, you both still got together, and now you are getting married to each other.”

Viktor thought for a moment. Chris did have a point. Despite Yuri not remembering their first meeting, they did still end up together. They still managed to find each other and no forces were able to tear them apart.

“Since when were you the sensible one?” Viktor said with a slight laugh.

“Are you implying that you were ever the sensible one?” Chris raised an eyebrow. “But anyway, enough with your pity party. You’re getting married,” he said, pouring Viktor a glass.

Viktor grinned. He was getting married to Yuri Katsuki. He said that they would get married when Yuri wins gold, but that doesn’t even matter anymore. Yuri could place last and he would marry him. Yuri could even drop out and Viktor would still marry him.

Viktor loved him; He would marry him no matter what happened.

 

 

Yuri was currently fourth in the Grand Prix Finals. He still had a chance to win gold, or to at least place on the podium. Viktor was proud of Yuri; He did have a good short program, despite seeming a bit more intense than usual and not landing his quadruple flip. But there was still hope for his free skate, which Viktor knew he’d put his heart into.

Yuri seemed a bit different after his skate. He seemed more intense, and Viktor hoped that intensity would help him further along in the competition.

In general, seeing everyone’s short programs was delightful. He thought everyone did well, and for what happened with JJ, he did feel bad. He understands what it feels like to be at the top and be under all that pressure.

And Yuri Plisetsky. Yurio, breaking his own world record. _He finally got what he wanted_ , Viktor had thought when that happened.

Of course though, out of everyone, he had the highest hopes and most confidence in Yuri.

When they arrived back at their hotel room, Yuri said he wanted to talk to Viktor after his shower. That it was something important.

When Viktor did get out, Yuri alerted him that Minako-sensei and Celestino were drinking together.

“Wow,” Viktor said with a smile, sitting across from Yuri as he dried his hair with a towel. “Best to keep our distance.” Yuri nodded, and Viktor added on, “By the way, Yuri… what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Right,” Yuri said, looking up from his phone at him. Viktor watched as he clenched his hands, watched as the ring glinted on his finger. “After the Final, let’s end this.”

Skaters’ hearts are as fragile as glass. It’s quite simple to crack one. All it takes are just words.

And Yuri, well, Yuri shattered Viktor’s.

The ring burned hot on Viktor’s finger and suddenly his hands were shaking and his insides were twisting up so much that he felt nauseous. Before Yuri could even continue on tears flooded Viktor’s eyes and streamed down his face. And Yuri, who had opened his mouth to say something, said nothing. He just stared at Viktor with wide eyes and that sent Viktor over the edge even more.

“What did I do wrong?” He sobbed, unable to get control of his voice. He wanted to calm down but he couldn’t, he couldn’t with Yuri just staring at him and with that ring feeling heavier and heavier on his finger and he cried harder at the thought of having to give it back. “Please, Yuri, I can- I can fix it! Just tell m-me what I did! I can change! Please, Yuri-” his voice broke off and he covered his mouth, trying to stifle his sobs.

And then life suddenly seemed to come back to Yuri and he rushed out in a panicked manner, “No, no Viktor I didn’t mean that-”

“Then why did you say it?!” Viktor cried. “If you want me to leave just tell me!”

A part of Viktor knew that he should let Yuri speak. That there was a chance he was overreacting. But he had finally found the happiness and love that he’s been searching for, and he was terrified that he was about to leave it. With a choked sob he dropped his head down and pressed his hands to his eyes.

“Viktor, please, listen to me,” Yuri’s voice was softer and closer. “Please, Viktor, look at me.” Viktor finally picked his head up to find Yuri kneeling in front of him. Yuri gently brushed his tears away and Viktor let him; Yuri cupped his face and Viktor leaned into his touch. Viktor’s breathing was still uneven and sobs still escaped his lips. “Viktor, breathe with me, please, okay?” Viktor nodded and Yuri took one of Viktor’s hands and placed it on his chest. He followed Yuri’s breathing, focusing all his attention on calming down and stopping his mind from racing.

When Viktor’s breathing finally calmed down, Yuri wiped away any remaining tears. “I’m so sorry Viktor,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He then took his right hand off Viktor’s face and held Viktor’s right hand, rubbing his thumb over it. “I didn’t mean that I want to end this.” He took Viktor’s hand to his mouth and kissed his ring. “Viktor, I’m here with you, I’m not leaving you. I still want us to get married.”

Viktor nodded slowly. “Then… what did you mean?”

“I want you to retire as my coach.” Even that took Viktor back, but he let Yuri finish this time. “With how things went today, I don’t want to drag you down with me.” Yuri gently ran his thumb along Viktor’s jaw.

Viktor furrowed his eyebrows. “With how things went today? Yuri… you think you did bad?”

“I didn’t land the quadruple flip.”

“That doesn’t mean that everything’s done!” Viktor worried his bottom lip. “Things can still turn out great! You still have your free skate! You can still get gold, you can still get on the podium! In the Cup of China, Phichit went from fourth to first! You can too!”

Yuri sighed. “But Viktor, what if I don’t? Anything can happen tomorrow. I don’t want to be known as the skater who ruined you.”

“Ruined me?” Viktor questioned in disbelief. “Yuri, you’re the skater -no, the person- who saved me! No matter what happens tomorrow, you… you changed my life for the better. I don’t want to step down as your coach, I want to see you through this until the very end. And after that… after that, no matter what happens, we’ll get married. Of course I want you to be on the podium, but at this point, it’s not because I’m your coach, it’s because I support you and want the best for you!”

“Viktor,” Yuri murmured, his cheeks flushed. His eyes looked watery.

“I love you, Yuri,” Viktor said, squeezing Yuri’s hand. “I love you as your coach because you have never ceased to amaze me. I love you as your fiance because you have changed me for the better, and you have brought life and love back into my life.”

“Viktor,” Yuri repeated, a smile on his lips. “I love you, too. As your student and as your fiance.”

“Let me continue to be your coach,” Viktor pleaded. “Whether it be for just tomorrow or for the rest of eternity, I want to be by your side supporting you, and I can do that as your fiancee, your husband, and your coach.”

“I think it might just be for the rest of the season, if not tomorrow,” Yuri said. “I don’t even know if I’m going to be skating again next season.”

Viktor nodded. “And that’s fine! I’ll be your coach for as long as you’ll have me as your guide, and then I’ll just be yours for the rest.”

Yuri grinned and took his hand away from Viktor’s face to rub his eyes. “You’re making me cry…”

Viktor laughed. “I hope they’re happy tears.”

Yuri nodded. He then happily sighed, staring at Viktor. “I’m so sorry I made you think that I was leaving you,” he said softly. “I would never. I love you so much, Viktor.”

“You can make it up to me by giving your all tomorrow,” Viktor smiled. “Leave your heart out on the ice.”

“I’ll skate our love tomorrow,” Yuri said, kissing Viktor’s hand again. “I’ll lay it bare on the ice.”

 

 

The rink was packed full of energy. Yuri and Viktor stood at the gate. Yuri was the first to skate out of all six skaters, and Viktor had confidence that Yuri would leave the crowd in awe. He was supposed to go on soon, and Viktor couldn’t be happier. They really got here. Through everything, Yuri and Viktor got to the Grand Prix Finals.

Viktor couldn’t stop beaming.

“Viktor,” Yuri said when it was almost his time to start. He gripped his tie, pulled him close, and laid a kiss to his cheek. “Never take your eyes off me.”

“I promise I won’t,” Viktor smiled. “Remember, leave our love bare for everyone to see.”

“I promise I will.”

Viktor Nikiforov watched with pride, with nerves, with love, as Yuri Katsuki went onto the ice.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!! thank you all so much for reading!!! kudos and feedback are greatly appreciated :)
> 
> follow me on tumblr @ exelseor.tumblr.com !!!


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